The Integrative Counseling Center

​Chicago Location

5250 Old Orchard Rd

Suite 300

Skokie, IL 60077

​Scottsdale Location

11811 N. Tatum Blvd

Suite 3031

Phoenix, AZ 85028

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We control the choice and the effort, but not the results


We control the choice and the effort, but not the results

We learn from the great sages and saints of our history and by looking into our own day-to-day reality, that we control to some degree our choices and effort, but definitely not the results. Therefore, blaming ourselves for the outcome of situations is not so useful or even true. Rather, I can work on my effort and I can work on making healthy choices to do the right thing. But we need to learn to let go of trying to control the results. "If I could do this, man would my day be better and happier. So many more minutes throughout the day." Yet it’s so hard isn’t it? In fact it’s so human and normal to try to control the results, especially if the results matter like taking care of my health, helping out other people, stopping myself from injury and others too. And yet it’s necessary, but basically impossible. Which leads us to a thought that comes from one of my favorite 12-step aphorisms… “If you have a problem bigger than you, then you need something bigger than your problem“. Therefore, letting go of the result is virtually impossible. I need divine assistance, I need encouragement from others, I need help from above. So may the good Lord above help all of us to let go when it’s impossible to let go but it’s the healthy path.